Observing everyone, everything else
until I cannot see myself,
just riding on a cloud
hoping no one notices,
but everyone cares,
weighing social anxiety against ignorance
and deciding my temperament
will not accept my own
carelessness,
no matter that of others
but it soothes me
to think
that only I analyze down to the last detail,
maintaining a certain cool while I hide
the for reals
of what I feel,
cuz being passive is the trend
and I stopped trying (too hard);
fashion, music, poetry, education,
I don’t know what to focus on
first,
they say I should just enjoy myself,
join the crowd,
but the ultimate truth is mine
and my sensitivities are my own design.
So if you say I shouldn’t
care
what people think of me,
I counter that with well then,
why the fuck are you concerned with me?!